[ Well, Otonashi asked for it... He's immediately greeted by Kise's extremely sad, distraught face. And wailing. Lots of wailing. ]
Usually he at least gives you advice if you ask about something, even if it's Akashicchi advice! I was really upset and he got mad at me about doing all this stuff he does to Henry anyway!
Otonashi inhales, holds it for a moment, then slowly releases it to force a moment of calm. Looks like he's going to need his patience for this one. ]
Slow down, Kise.
So he's being a hypocrite about something again. It's okay for him to do something, but not for anyone else. Maybe he thinks he's above the rules he sets for everyone else. But what were you even doing to Henry..?!
Were you trying to get advice on how to do something best, I just... I don't understand this.
[ His voice breaks, cuts off like a snap. He doesn't want to talk about this, doesn't want to think about it. About what he'd done, how he'd hurt Henry, even if it hadn't exactly been him in control at the time.
Maybe if he's a brat, Otonashi will let him brush this off. Get away with dropping the subject. ]
It's fine, I just... forgot for a second that it was Akashicchi. It's stupid, never mind.
[ Otonashi snaps back without a sliver of hesitation. He begins firm, his eyes narrowing as if scrutinizing the model through the video. ]
Come on. You didn't actually think I was going to buy that, did you? You'd have to do a lot better than that to throw me after your voice broke like that... [ Here, he softens, his shoulders sagging. ]
At least you're acknowledging it... [ So many refuse to. Like Akashi, for example. There's always some "justification" for what he does, whether there's an excuse for it or not. ]
I'm not Akashi, but I'll try. First I need to know what's even going on... So something happened with Henry. Something awful, something you don't want to talk about, and Akashi lashes out at you for it. But Akashi normally does whatever you did to Henry and thinks it's okay for him to hurt Henry.
[ So Akashi doing awful things and considering himself above the rules that apply to everyone else, perhaps? Sure, he can believe it. ]
[ That gets a short, sharp laugh out of Kise, nothing like amusement in the sound at all. ]
Yeah, it's weird. It works for them, I guess, though. Just not for anyone else, huh?
[ He's silent for a second, dragging in a ragged breath, looking down, away, not meeting Otonashi's eyes. ]
I thought— I thought I was someone else. Something else. And I hurt Henry because he wanted me to, but that doesn't make it okay. And Akashicchi got pissed that I'd done it at all, that I wanted to talk about it. He pretty much said I was being stupid and shallow and selfish seeking reassurance, wanting to be told it was okay.
[ He smiles, and it looks sick. ]
I guess it was. I did want him to tell me it was okay.
Maybe it works for them on the surface, but I don't think it's... functional.
[ Anything encouraging mutual murder for the sake of the experience and "fun" is firmly filed away under "completely dysfunctional" and "almost certainly dangerous."
Otonashi pointedly avoids saying that the act of hurting is completely and utterly okay. ]
It wouldn't be okay if you were proud of it and telling him because you wanted praise. But it's not gossip fodder. Can I ask why you went to him for help, though..? He doesn't seem like...
[ While Otonashi trails off, the implication of Akashi doesn't seem like the most sensitive person about human emotion remains even still. ]
[ He sighs, and his smile flickers. He tries to keep it rueful, self-deprecating, but it just ends up looking pained. ]
I thought that since it's Akashicchi, he wouldn't judge me for it, you know? Because he's already done worse. So I thought it'd be okay to tell him. I thought he'd listen to me, and... I really did think he'd say that it was okay. [ A beat. ] Since it was important, and it wasn't anything he hasn't done.
Maybe he thinks that you needing reassurance is a weakness.
[ His own eyes flick offscreen for a moment, and his shoulders sag slightly as he exhales. ]
He's wrong. Akashi's wrong about a lot of things... But he seems to, ah— almost hold you guys to a different standard than he holds me, or even Henry. I don't know this for sure, but if I was—I dunno, hypnotized or possessed, not myself—and I hurt Henry and went to him, maybe he'd just wonder why I did it. I could hear him saying how "unusual" that is for me and telling me not to get to wrapped up in crazytown because it'd be troublesome if I was...
[ He pauses, considering. ]
Or maybe he would still get angry, because they have a thing and someone interrupted it. [ Akashi does the friendship thing very, very strangely. Pushing it a bit further to assume he also does the "mutual bonding" thing strangely, especially when it involves harm and murder in the background, doesn't seem so farfetched. ]
Akashicchi's complicated. [ Understatement. Such an understatement. ] But I know we're different to him. That's why I thought it'd be okay to ask him.
[ He lifts his shoulder in a self-deprecating shrug. What a good idea that'd been, huh? Just because Akashi thinks all the Generation of Miracles are in some way his and treats them accordingly, it doesn't mean that Akashi's going to treat them nicely all the time. He knows that. He knows that Akashi's weird with friendship (and it is friendship, no matter what Akashi says), but still. Just because that's how Akashi always acts, doesn't mean he should act like this. Otonashi's right about that. ]
I just didn't expect him to be so selfish about it, I guess. Anyway, I'm okay. [ It's only partially a lie. He's not the type to let others get him down so much, even if his smile is still a little wan. But he's obviously not really himself, and he definitely wouldn't turn down a visit and a distraction. ] Just talking about it's been helping.
Yeah, I know you're okay... [ "Okay" does not necessarily equate to "well," not does it satisfy the persistent redhead on the other side of the feed. Kise is precisely the type who might flash a feigned smile, crack an idle joke about the situation long enough to get someone off the line, only to dive headfirst back into worry.
Smiles and their accompanying little dismissive shrugs are rarely enough to shake Otonashi. ]
You're telling me a visit wouldn't make it better? Come on. Give me some of your gossip or something. I'll bring you that picture I drew of Murasakibara and we'll all have a good laugh. My treat.
[ But the way his shoulders relax a little, the way his smile shifts towards something that's just a little more genuine, makes it very clear that he wants Otonashi to come over. That more than that, he's relieved to have Otonashi pushing the issue instead of taking him at face value. ]
Don't get into too much trouble in the, uh, 20 minutes it might take me to come by.
[ And he looks all the more determined, bordering on the point of theatrics. It's overblown, reaching for more of that subtle change in Kise's smile. Those are the cues he wants to see.
So he starts to work in finding that fine piece of arts and crafts he's since stowed away. ]
[ No getting into trouble, check. Which is why when Otonashi shows up, Kise's sprawled out on his bed and glaring up at the ceiling, sulking like a moody teenager at his finest. ]
[ What a majestic sight to behold. So majestic, in fact, that Otonashi has to stop for a moment to digest what he's looking at and assess how to proceed.
He'll have to keep this image in mind the next time he has a teenage fit. ]
As... fascinating as I'm sure the ceiling is—I think I have a better idea. Unless you'd rather we sit and find shapes in the ceiling pattern.
[ Kise deigns to sit up and give Otonashi a weak smile. The sulky teenager is still lingering at the edges, but, well, Otonashi's living with Akashi, he's getting enough taken out on him, probably, already. ]
What'd you have in mind? [ Okay, so that comes out a little suspiciously, but Otonashi's a busybody. It's totally warranted. ]
[ Rather than meet Kise's eyes immediately or comment on the completely fair line of questioning, he quickly pulls something from his shoulder bag, presenting it without comment. ]
[ He gives Kise a moment to digest Otonashi's fine, water-damaged (or at least, he really hopes it's only water damage, lest he re-evaluate his lodging yet again) piece of art. And yes, there is another attempt at this picture that has bled through onto this one, but alas it lives only in the shadow of this masterpiece. ]
For you, my shounen hero. Greetings from the fair heroine.
[ Kise waits curiously for whatever it is on the paper that Otonashi wants to show him—
And then he doubles over in laughter, clutching at his stomach as he tries to control his mirth. When he finally straights up again there are actual tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. ]
You— You actually did it, wow. Murasakibaracchi looks great.
Of course I did it, I had to show you how wrong you were. [ Obviously that alone worked as his motivation, because Otonashi would never go out of his way to make someone happy at his own expense. ]
He would look great in a dress. And even if he wouldn't, I'm calling it a success.
[ To him, it clearly must be a win if Kise's sulking has abated in spite of Otonashi's nonexistent art skills. ]
[ And he's totally going to pin the picture to his wall to laugh at every morning. He pulls Otonashi down onto the bed and flops onto him, leaning against Otonashi's side, still laughing a little. Finally, he settles down and offers, a little wistfully: ]
Ah, I wish I had my phone, I could show you the pictures from our middle school festival where Murasakibaracchi actually dressed up...
[ His intent and words escape him, tumbling to the bed with the rest of him. His slight embarrassment in his own masterpiece prevents him from outright laughing quite so much, but a smile teases at his lips all the same. ]
Dressed up as what? This? [ He pushes the shoddy little drawing forward, displaying it on the bed. ]
I hope you weren't planning to leave it at that. Sounds like a story. [ And he rests a hand in that blonde hair, looking down expectantly. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trainwrecking) wrote2014-05-28 09:13 am
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I came and poured my heart out and he got mad at me for it instead of helping!!
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A true friend is someone who totally goes there but is good for the long run. Right? ]
Kise. That happens a lot, you're going to have to be a bit more specific. Why was he angry? He isn't the type to get flustered easily.
This might be easier on audio, tone gets lost with text.
text --> video;
Usually he at least gives you advice if you ask about something, even if it's Akashicchi advice! I was really upset and he got mad at me about doing all this stuff he does to Henry anyway!
text --> video;
Otonashi inhales, holds it for a moment, then slowly releases it to force a moment of calm. Looks like he's going to need his patience for this one. ]
Slow down, Kise.
So he's being a hypocrite about something again. It's okay for him to do something, but not for anyone else. Maybe he thinks he's above the rules he sets for everyone else. But what were you even doing to Henry..?!
Were you trying to get advice on how to do something best, I just... I don't understand this.
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[ His voice breaks, cuts off like a snap. He doesn't want to talk about this, doesn't want to think about it. About what he'd done, how he'd hurt Henry, even if it hadn't exactly been him in control at the time.
Maybe if he's a brat, Otonashi will let him brush this off. Get away with dropping the subject. ]
It's fine, I just... forgot for a second that it was Akashicchi. It's stupid, never mind.
[ And maybe pigs will fly. ]
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[ Otonashi snaps back without a sliver of hesitation. He begins firm, his eyes narrowing as if scrutinizing the model through the video. ]
Come on. You didn't actually think I was going to buy that, did you? You'd have to do a lot better than that to throw me after your voice broke like that... [ Here, he softens, his shoulders sagging. ]
What's wrong?
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I just... the stuff I did, it was awful.
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I'm not Akashi, but I'll try. First I need to know what's even going on... So something happened with Henry. Something awful, something you don't want to talk about, and Akashi lashes out at you for it. But Akashi normally does whatever you did to Henry and thinks it's okay for him to hurt Henry.
[ So Akashi doing awful things and considering himself above the rules that apply to everyone else, perhaps? Sure, he can believe it. ]
Their relationship is ... odd, isn't it.
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Yeah, it's weird. It works for them, I guess, though. Just not for anyone else, huh?
[ He's silent for a second, dragging in a ragged breath, looking down, away, not meeting Otonashi's eyes. ]
I thought— I thought I was someone else. Something else. And I hurt Henry because he wanted me to, but that doesn't make it okay. And Akashicchi got pissed that I'd done it at all, that I wanted to talk about it. He pretty much said I was being stupid and shallow and selfish seeking reassurance, wanting to be told it was okay.
[ He smiles, and it looks sick. ]
I guess it was. I did want him to tell me it was okay.
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[ Anything encouraging mutual murder for the sake of the experience and "fun" is firmly filed away under "completely dysfunctional" and "almost certainly dangerous."
Otonashi pointedly avoids saying that the act of hurting is completely and utterly okay. ]
It wouldn't be okay if you were proud of it and telling him because you wanted praise. But it's not gossip fodder. Can I ask why you went to him for help, though..? He doesn't seem like...
[ While Otonashi trails off, the implication of Akashi doesn't seem like the most sensitive person about human emotion remains even still. ]
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[ He sighs, and his smile flickers. He tries to keep it rueful, self-deprecating, but it just ends up looking pained. ]
I thought that since it's Akashicchi, he wouldn't judge me for it, you know? Because he's already done worse. So I thought it'd be okay to tell him. I thought he'd listen to me, and... I really did think he'd say that it was okay. [ A beat. ] Since it was important, and it wasn't anything he hasn't done.
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[ His own eyes flick offscreen for a moment, and his shoulders sag slightly as he exhales. ]
He's wrong. Akashi's wrong about a lot of things... But he seems to, ah— almost hold you guys to a different standard than he holds me, or even Henry. I don't know this for sure, but if I was—I dunno, hypnotized or possessed, not myself—and I hurt Henry and went to him, maybe he'd just wonder why I did it. I could hear him saying how "unusual" that is for me and telling me not to get to wrapped up in crazytown because it'd be troublesome if I was...
[ He pauses, considering. ]
Or maybe he would still get angry, because they have a thing and someone interrupted it. [ Akashi does the friendship thing very, very strangely. Pushing it a bit further to assume he also does the "mutual bonding" thing strangely, especially when it involves harm and murder in the background, doesn't seem so farfetched. ]
... Do you need me to come over?
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[ He lifts his shoulder in a self-deprecating shrug. What a good idea that'd been, huh? Just because Akashi thinks all the Generation of Miracles are in some way his and treats them accordingly, it doesn't mean that Akashi's going to treat them nicely all the time. He knows that. He knows that Akashi's weird with friendship (and it is friendship, no matter what Akashi says), but still. Just because that's how Akashi always acts, doesn't mean he should act like this. Otonashi's right about that. ]
I just didn't expect him to be so selfish about it, I guess. Anyway, I'm okay. [ It's only partially a lie. He's not the type to let others get him down so much, even if his smile is still a little wan. But he's obviously not really himself, and he definitely wouldn't turn down a visit and a distraction. ] Just talking about it's been helping.
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Smiles and their accompanying little dismissive shrugs are rarely enough to shake Otonashi. ]
You're telling me a visit wouldn't make it better? Come on. Give me some of your gossip or something. I'll bring you that picture I drew of Murasakibara and we'll all have a good laugh. My treat.
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[ But the way his shoulders relax a little, the way his smile shifts towards something that's just a little more genuine, makes it very clear that he wants Otonashi to come over. That more than that, he's relieved to have Otonashi pushing the issue instead of taking him at face value. ]
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[ And he looks all the more determined, bordering on the point of theatrics. It's overblown, reaching for more of that subtle change in Kise's smile. Those are the cues he wants to see.
So he starts to work in finding that fine piece of arts and crafts he's since stowed away. ]
video --> action;
action;
[ What a majestic sight to behold. So majestic, in fact, that Otonashi has to stop for a moment to digest what he's looking at and assess how to proceed.
He'll have to keep this image in mind the next time he has a teenage fit. ]
As... fascinating as I'm sure the ceiling is—I think I have a better idea. Unless you'd rather we sit and find shapes in the ceiling pattern.
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[ Kise deigns to sit up and give Otonashi a weak smile. The sulky teenager is still lingering at the edges, but, well, Otonashi's living with Akashi, he's getting enough taken out on him, probably, already. ]
What'd you have in mind? [ Okay, so that comes out a little suspiciously, but Otonashi's a busybody. It's totally warranted. ]
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[ He gives Kise a moment to digest Otonashi's fine, water-damaged (or at least, he really hopes it's only water damage, lest he re-evaluate his lodging yet again) piece of art. And yes, there is another attempt at this picture that has bled through onto this one, but alas it lives only in the shadow of this masterpiece. ]
For you, my shounen hero. Greetings from the fair heroine.
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And then he doubles over in laughter, clutching at his stomach as he tries to control his mirth. When he finally straights up again there are actual tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. ]
You— You actually did it, wow. Murasakibaracchi looks great.
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He would look great in a dress. And even if he wouldn't, I'm calling it a success.
[ To him, it clearly must be a win if Kise's sulking has abated in spite of Otonashi's nonexistent art skills. ]
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[ And he's totally going to pin the picture to his wall to laugh at every morning. He pulls Otonashi down onto the bed and flops onto him, leaning against Otonashi's side, still laughing a little. Finally, he settles down and offers, a little wistfully: ]
Ah, I wish I had my phone, I could show you the pictures from our middle school festival where Murasakibaracchi actually dressed up...
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[ His intent and words escape him, tumbling to the bed with the rest of him. His slight embarrassment in his own masterpiece prevents him from outright laughing quite so much, but a smile teases at his lips all the same. ]
Dressed up as what? This? [ He pushes the shoddy little drawing forward, displaying it on the bed. ]
I hope you weren't planning to leave it at that. Sounds like a story. [ And he rests a hand in that blonde hair, looking down expectantly. ]
(no subject)