IC Inbox @ Ophiuchus

[trainwrecking]

Ah, this is Yuzuru Otonashi. Sorry, but I can't get to the phone right now. If you leave a message, I'll get back to you whenever I can.

Comments

[trainwrecking]

Yeah, but I think you did some of this on purpose. For amusement.

That box isn't here anyway...

[outplays]

Not at all. It was just a whim of fate, as I said earlier.

And I can get it back whenever you like, you know.

[trainwrecking]

Sure, sure... That's one of those arguments I can't prove or disprove anyway. It's just pointless whining at this point, anyway...

That's not what I meant either, just get it back whenever you want it! Just promise to make sure whoever you loaned it to is responsible with it! If it shows back up I'll clean it and the circle of life will continue I dunno

[ You know what wounds he would rather not treat? Wounds from mishaps with the box of shame. ]

[outplays]

I don't believe that he's even used it this entire time, so I'm sure it's in top-notch condition... or at least, I'd hope it was.

Don't worry too much. I don't believe it has caused any injuries to date.

[trainwrecking]

Great news, the box lives to see another day and make its heartwarming journey home to become the weirdest centerpiece on the planet.

I just can't wait...

[ Wow, that's enthusiasm you can feel right there. ]

Well good, because you know you can fracture a penis. And that's one thing on my list of "things I'd like to never encounter"

[outplays]

I can sense the thrum of excitement running through your body at the prospects of the box's soon-to-be homecoming.

And believe it or not, I'd really rather not encounter a fractured penis myself. Unfortunately, it also seems... somewhat more likely here than under normal circumstances. If anything, I'm shocked nobody has experienced one yet.

[trainwrecking]

[ Damn it, Akashi. WHY THIS.

But he's collected enough to respond due to the unanimous horror over broken body parts. ]

You know, maybe we ought to just leave it at that. I'm not particularly superstitious but considering this freak storm and misdirected messages, I don't want to invoke some kind of bad luck...

[outplays]

It'd be proof that bad things come in threes, doesn't it? Unfortunate mistexts, an electrical storm, and a fractured penis. There's almost something poetic about it, really.

[trainwrecking]

"Poetic?" Maybe if you're writing a cruel joke of a haiku...

[ But it would be the greatest haiku. ]

I'd call that a cautionary tale if it happened and nightmare fuel even if it doesn't.

[outplays]

Electrical storm.
An unfortunate mistext.
His penis fractured.

You're right. It does fit into haiku form perfectly.

[trainwrecking]

I should be surprised but I'm really, really not. I'm not sure if that says more about you or me.

[ He could leave it at that. He probably should. Instead, another text comes a minute later: ]

A dangerous box
Shattered homes, broken penis
I regret so much

[outplays]

Well, if it makes you feel better, I really will endeavor to avoid any and all penis fractures and send any unfortunate victims to a different healer.

[trainwrecking]

I didn't say I WOULDN'T treat one, just that I'd really rather not see someone suffer that.

But yeah
I'd appreciate it if you tried not to inflict that pain on yourself or anyone else and I'm glad we agree on this one

[outplays]

Even I have my limits and things I would prefer never to personally witness.

Well...
If it were done on purpose to somebody who deserved it, that's different.